What if This Storm Ends?
by fragmentalis
Summary: Happy, carefree Cat Valentine falls from grace after the loss of her brother. Her friends get pulled into her destructive behavior. Cabbie.
1. Autumn Leaves

**What if This Storm Ends?**

**Chapter 1: Autumn Leaves**

**A/N:** I can't seem to let go of this idea. I am having a hard time planning some things for it, but I can't seem to get away from attempting to write it.

**Disclaimer:** Victorious and all of its brilliance belongs to Dan Schneider and Nickelodeon.

**Summary:** Happy, carefree Cat Valentine falls from grace after the loss of her brother. Her friends get pulled into her destructive behavior. Cabbie.

~!#$%^&*()_+

If only fall could happen normally in Hollywood, California. Hell, if only anything could happen normally in California.

Caterina Valentine wasn't exactly the girl anyone would look to for the ordinary, as she might have been more eccentric than the state she lived in. Hair as violently red as cold blood, a voice that could soothe the hardest of hearts and a disposition as childish as they come, normal wasn't a term often used to describe her.

Still, she had a nice life amongst her family (as insane as they were) and her friends and fellow classmates at Hollywood Arts High School.

As her father pulled up outside of said school, Cat gave him a peck on the cheek and made her exit, marveling at how green the trees still were even in the Autumn months. She would have given anything to see just one leaf change.

Ever since a trip to Denver when she was eight years old, Cat had fallen in love with autumn leaves. The wide range of colors and shapes, the intensity of the colors and watching them float from the trees as the bitter winds hit them in just the right way.

Hollywood was different, almost always hot and sunny. Cat loved her life here, but living in California could become tiring at times. People were out to get each other, interested only in propelling themselves to the top at the expense of everyone else. So much talent and variety, it was easy to get lost amongst the turmoil.

But she couldn't help but smile everyday, being surrounded by so much happiness. There were always kids dancing and singing on the front steps of the school, such harmony in the air. It was easy to forget all the bad things when she remembered that this was home.

Cat quickened her pace when she spotted her friend Tori Vega making her own way to the entrance.

"Hey, Cat," the brunette greeted her with a smile, before opening the door for her.

"Hi, Tori. What did you have for breakfast?" Cat asked her, a tad out of the blue.

"Uh...a bagel, why?" Tori replied, slightly put off by her friend's random question. Cat giggled, loving how people reacted to her zaniness. She never did answer Tori, who just walked slightly behind the redhead, still trying to figure out why Cat would have asked her that.

As they quietly made their way to their homeroom, Robbie Shapiro and his puppet Rex appeared from inside the room, his clothes and hair dripping wet.

"Robbie, what happened?" Cat inquired of him, as he removed his black-rimmed glasses from his face to wipe them off, before realizing there was no dry part of him. Cat graciously took them from his hands and dried them with her blouse, still awaiting his answer.

"Thanks. The pipes in the classroom burst and I was the unfortunate person standing near them," he stated, retrieving his glasses from Cat.

"Your stupidity is what's unfortunate," the deep voice of Rex piped up, as Robbie rolled his eyes at his puppet.

"That's terrible," Cat told Robbie, who was wringing out his shirt on the floor. Tori stepped back to avoid getting water on her shoes.

"Yeah and now I have to go back home to change into dry clothes and miss my first couple of classes. And even worse, there's nobody home to keep an eye on Rex while I change," Robbie ranted, leaning against the wall, paying no heed to the activity fliers he was dampening.

"I could go with you," Cat offered, figuring her morning classes were only Make-Up and Set Design, and she was doing very well in both. She could afford to miss one day.

"You'd do that?" Robbie asked her hopefully.

"You'd do that?" Tori echoed his question, confused. Evidently, she would have let Robbie go it alone.

"Sure, come on," Cat grabbing Robbie's arm and pulling him away from the doorframe.

"Hurry back!" Tori yelled after them. Cat nodded in her direction and continued on her way beside Robbie.

"I really appreciate this, Cat," Robbie thanked her, as he walked with her, and she smiled at him.

"Anytime," she said, as they were approaching the front entrance. Cat spotted Robbie's rundown station wagon in the parking lot and tried to stifle a laugh. After Robbie's convertible got stolen, he'd gotten stuck with even more dilapidated piece of junk.

Cat was praying inwardly that it would get them safely to Robbie's house and back. Robbie reassured her, almost as if he had read her mind.

"My uncle put a new engine in it, and it's been running a lot better," he informed her, and she breathed a sigh of relief.

She climbed into the passenger side after he unlocked it and noted the dusty interior. Robbie had hung a pair of puppet shoes from the rear view mirror, convinced that they were Rex's first pair until he had grown out of them.

Cat giggled at the memory of him telling her that, as she'd remembered it fondly. She thought the friendship between Robbie and Rex was very sweet, because Robbie always had someone to talk to. She understood why he seemed to be aloof to the fact that he was the one who controlled Rex. It made him less lonely. As sweet as it was, Cat also felt a bit sad for him.

On a spur of the moment, Cat leaned across the gearshift and wrapped an arm around his neck. She didn't care that he was wet or that the gearshift was poking her in the side, she felt like the hug was necessary. Robbie was caught off guard, but he reciprocated as best he could, being as nearly all of her weight was on him. When she pulled away, he looked rather dazed.

"What was that for?" He asked, sliding the key into the ignition and turning it properly.

Cat shrugged off his question, delighted by the fact that the car started the first time he turned the key. Robbie let her strange behavior go unquestioned any further. She was prone to doing things that didn't make sense, though unbeknownst to him, the very real logic was her own little secret.

Approaching the familiar duplex that housed the Shapiro family, Cat heard the noisy hum of the engine die as Robbie cut the power.

Cat watched as Robbie unbuckled Rex from the backseat, and listened to them argue about Robbie not letting Rex sit in the front seat.

"Because Cat came with us!" Robbie struggled to explain to the puppet in his hands, and Cat grinned and shook her head.

"The nut would have been fine in the backseat! Safer too, probably," Rex retorted, and Cat frowned behind them, as Robbie turned around to apologize.

Cat often thought of Rex's supposed bad attitude towards her, and tried to deduce the meaning behind it. It was so strange, especially when Robbie seemed to hold her in relatively high esteem. Sometimes she wondered if he was harboring some secret resentment toward her, and for awhile it was the only explanation she could come up with. For that period of time she had distanced herself from him, thinking that he didn't want her around, but then she overheard him having a conversation with Rex.

"Cat doesn't want to be around me, all because you can't keep your mouth shut. Why are you so mean to her? I wish she would just talk to me..." He had said, and Cat realized that their friendship wasn't something he forced when she was around, he held onto it even when she wasn't.

She had though perhaps, Robbie and Rex had such different views of people and of life because it made Rex seem more and more like a separate entity. Robbie seemed so desperate to believe that Rex was his own person, and not just some character that Robbie had created. Because if Rex wasn't just a puppet, then Robbie was alone.

And again, as they climbed from the bottom apartment to the top, Cat felt overwhelming emotion for Robbie and resisted the urge to tackle him to the floor and hug him until he begged her to stop.

As they reached the hallway outside his bedroom, Robbie handed Rex to Cat and shot a warning look at his puppet.

"Be nice," he told him, before smiling at Cat and heading into his bedroom to change.

Cat absentmindedly clutched the puppet to her, almost as if projecting the hug that was meant for Robbie onto it.

Cat glanced around at the paintings on the wall, until her eyes landed on her favorite one. A swirl of autumn colors, and Robbie claimed it was simply random colors, but Cat swore she saw the leaves.

One of every shade of red, orange, yellow and brown one could imagine. It was so calming and beautiful, and Cat would stare at it every time she came her. She and Robbie studied together on a regular basis and she would always stop outside his bedroom door after every trip to the bathroom and kitchen and just lose herself in it. Robbie would eventually have to come looking for her and bring her back into his room.

And once again, she was startled by him opening his door in dry clothes, and he chuckled because he knew what she had been doing.

"You really love that painting, don't you?" Robbie asked gazing at it with her. She nodded, beaming.

"Well I wish we could stay and stare at it, but we should probably head back to school," Robbie advised, as she handed Rex back to him.

"All right," she sighed, sneaking one last lingering glance at the painting.

They were moving toward the stairs as Cat's cell phone began to ring. Seeing it was her mother, she braced herself for a scolding. The school must have called her being as Cat had missed classes.

"Mom? Look I know why-" Cat was trying to prepare a decent explanation in her head, before she was cut off by her mother's panicked voice.

"Cat! Cat I'm at the hospital!" She exclaimed, and Cat could hear frantic voices in the background, accompanied by sounds that indicated many people were rushing around.

"Why? What happened?" Cat had asked the question, but she dreaded the answer.

"Your brother was hit by a car, is there a way you can get here?" Her mother replied, speaking so fast that Cat wanted to believe she had misheard her.

"He was...what?" Cat was struggling to form words, as Robbie looked on, clearly alarmed by Cat's change in demeanor.

"He was hit by a car...honey, you need to get down here as soon as you can. It's very bad," her mother's voice broke and Cat almost dropped the phone.

"Um...okay, I'll get Robbie to drive me. I love you," Cat tried to maintain some sort of composure.

"All right, I love you. Try to hurry," her mother responded, and it was obvious that she was trying to get off the phone quickly as she was losing it.

Cat hung hit the 'end call' button, and her mouth went dry. They was this agonizing feeling that covered her, the likes of which she had never known.

She felt her legs losing feeling, and she collapsed to her knees. Robbie reached out and caught her as best he could.

"Cat!" He exclaimed, as she fell, and Rex lay on the floor at the edge of the steps, forgotten.

"I...I need you to drive me to the hospital..." Cat attempted to explain to him, but it was more intelligible mumbling than anything.

"Okay, it's okay. You're gonna be okay," Robbie assured her, out of breath, as he helped her stand back up and lifted her over to the stairs.

She swayed dangerously near the edge, but Robbie caught her before she went over. He glanced helplessly down them, and back at Cat who barely seemed to be coming to a bit.

"Cat, we need to get you downstairs, okay?" He told her, and she nodded as though she understood him.

She seemed to take a bit more control of her legs now, and the gripped the railing for dear life. On the other side, Robbie held her up and they made the perilous journey downstairs.

Reaching the landing safely, Robbie realized they were moving too slowly this way, so he scooped Cat up in his arms and rushed as fast as he could out to his station wagon.

As he sat her inside, he glanced back at the duplex, remembering that Rex was on the floor at the top of the stairs. He winced as he realized he'd have to leave him there, as Cat clearly needed to be taken to the hospital.

As Robbie climbed into the driver's seat, he looked worriedly at Cat, whose eyes stared lifelessly ahead at the dashboard. Turning the key, he wondered just what her mother had said in that phone call.


	2. When You Lost it All

**What if This Storm Ends?**

**Chapter 2: When You Lost it All**

**A/N:** So here's chapter 2! Things get pretty depressing here, so consider this a warning. I forgot to mention in the first chapter that the name of the story is derived from the song of the same name by Snow Patrol. Amazing song, I definitely recommend a listen.

**Disclaimer:** I claim no rights to Victorious. I'm just borrowing the characters for fun.

~!#$%^&*()_+

Cat didn't remember falling asleep, and yet she knew she was waking up. Darkness was fading into blinding white lights, and muffled sounds were becoming clearer. There were blurry faces around her, slowly coming into focus.

She recognized the faces of her parents, both looking forlorn, more so than she had ever seen them. Something was terribly, tragically wrong.

On the other side of her, she saw Robbie, he looked worried and also anxious, as though he were waiting for something horrible to happen. Didn't they know she was all right? Didn't they see her eyes opening?

What had happened anyway? Why was she surrounded by hospital walls?

"Cat," her father's voice said, noting that she was coming out of the mysterious sleep that had befallen her. He seemed to be saying this more to her mother than her, almost as if they were discussing something she wasn't supposed to know about, and this was the signal to stop talking.

Cat blinked the wetness from her eyes, looking questioningly at Robbie, as her parents were still engaged in a serious conversation. It was almost as though they were trying to decide something. Cat's mother's fists were clenched helplessly against her father's chest, as though she would collapse at any given moment.

Cat felt Robbie's hand enter her own splayed fingers, and he glanced down at her with a solemn expression, swallowing hard. Cat couldn't remember what had happened before she slept, and she had no idea of the reasoning behind the behavior of the people in the room with her.

"Robbie...uh...um...we need to speak to Cat," Mr. Valentine said suddenly, his voice a gravelly mess.

Robbie's eyes widened gravely, and he let out a shaky breath before looking down at Cat again. His hand cupped her cheek lovingly for a moment, and as his skin left hers, her head moved instinctively in his direction, but he was already leaving.

Her attention turned back to her parents, as they both faced her, and a sadness fell over the room that Cat couldn't explain, but she knew she wanted it to disappear.

-o-

Despite a few reflections in the glass from the hospital's bright lights, Robbie could see the scene unfolding in Cat's room. He didn't want to watch it happen, but he couldn't bring himself to look away.

He watched as Cat's parent's approached her bed, and the look of fear on her face was almost too much to take. Her eyes were wide like a child's, and even from there he could see her lip quiver.

Robbie saw Cat's parents look at each other, and he had never seen such helpless expressions. Cat's mother had to turn her back on her daughter, and Robbie watch her crumple in her husbands arms. He could hear her faint wailing, and despite the sounds of hospital life he knew were happening around him, all he could hear was the sound of Cat's mother crying.

It was a strange feeling, watching Cat as she watched her parents fall apart right in front of her. She still didn't seem to remember the phone call, she still didn't know what was going on. All she knew was that the two people who she had always looked at as pillars of strength were losing it right in front of her.

Robbie stood motionless as he saw the first tear escape Cat's eye, glistening as it moved. Her father knelt next to her bed and wiped it off, taking her hand, her mother still in hysterics against the adjacent wall.

Her father seemed to struggle a few times, before finally being able to string a sentence together. His eyes were shining with tears too, and he seemed to be pursing his lips as tightly as he could in his attempt to keep them in.

And finally, it happened. The words seemed to have slipped out, as Cat reeled sideways towards her father, her hands on his shoulders. Her dazed, unfocused eyes were sending so many messages, shock, anger, sadness; Robbie was surprised he was able to keep up with all of them.

And then he heard her, the shouting, the screaming. He turned away, hanging his head against the wall behind him. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut, and he could still hear her. He wondered if he was just imagining her desolate screams.

He itched to just run in there and do something, anything, but he knew he couldn't. He knew she needed her family now. Besides, he knew there was nothing he could do to make the situation any better. This wasn't something that could be fixed.

Robbie noticed he couldn't hear the screams anymore, so he risked a glance back at Cat's room, and saw Cat's face buried in her father's shoulder, with her mother standing beside them with her hand on Cat's back. She was staring up, though Robbie didn't know what she was looking at, or even that she was looking at something specific.

Robbie felt out of place, watching Cat cry with her family, but he had already decided he wasn't leaving unless he was asked to. He would be here just in case Cat needed him. He felt alone without Rex with him, but he tried not to think about it. Too much else was happening.

Robbie tried to stave off the memories of the first room. The room Cat's brother had been in.

Robbie didn't want to think of the face he had seen, so badly damaged from the shattered windshield, so bruised and bloodied.

He had hoped Cat would wake up in time. He didn't want her to lose that chance of closure, he didn't want her to miss that goodbye.

But he had realized that this day had been one big ode to that old saying "you can't always get what you want."

Simon Woodward Valentine had only been fourteen years old. He attended a special needs school in West Hollywood, one that seemingly needed to look into new traffic safety officials.

On his way to the school bus, a car struck him going much too fast for the school parking lot.

The doctors gave the same old story. "We did everything we could, but the damage was just too extensive."

Four lives were changed that day, Robbie couldn't deny that he was included in that, but he wonder how many of the doctors involved actually cared.

Robbie had lost a grandparent, and some great uncles and aunts, but to have it happen to a sibling...somebody so young. Robbie couldn't imagine what was going through Cat's head, and it wasn't only because her mind was an intricate maze.

He knew she had Bipolar Disorder, and that she went through emotions in a way he had ever seen of anyone else. His heart hurt when he considered how much pain she was actually in.

He glanced back in Cat's room, and the scene hadn't changed much. Cat was still clinging to her father, while her mother had her eyes closed and seemed to be talking to herself. Her hand was pressed over her heart, and Robbie suspected she might have been praying.

Robbie's family was Jewish, though he didn't really consider himself that religious. For Cat, though, he would pray harder than he ever had.

**A/N:** I was sort of at a loss for where to end this. The idea randomly struck me to write this in Robbie's perspective, mostly because I had more ideas this way, so hopefully it fits well here.


	3. Speechless

**What if This Storm Ends?**

**Chapter 3: Speechless**

**A/N:** Thanks to you guys for all your awesome reviews. You make this worth all the headaches and the writer's block. I'm just glad people are enjoying this despite the fact that I'm pretty much going into every chapter blindly for the most part. Yep, just sitting here...winging it.

**Disclaimer:** These wonderful characters are property of Dan Schneider and Nickelodeon.

~!#$%^&*()_+

She heard them knocking. There were so many knocks, but she wouldn't answer a single one. They were always followed by hopeful voices, and she could hear it in them. They let themselves believe that it would be the one statement they hadn't used yet. The one encouraging, yet meaningless expression that had gone untried that would finally snap her out of it. That would make her come out of her brother's room.

Cat was thankful for the design flaw in their house, the one that had caused a lock to be put on her brother's door instead of her own. She had spent hours in there since the funeral, perched on her knees in his spacious windowsill.

Several family members were currently inhabiting her living room, mourning her brother and recounting happy memories of him. Cat didn't want to remember, she didn't want to think, but she didn't want to leave his room, either.

They had left the grave site around six hours earlier, and the family night was lasting longer than Cat had expected. She just wanted them gone. She didn't want to hear their voices anymore.

She kept her eyes intently on the city in the distance, watching the colorful lights of Hollywood move as though they themselves were alive. Cat felt like she was trapped behind a transparent veil, and the city embodied all of the happiness she couldn't reach.

Her brother's room felt empty and full at the same time. She felt alone there, and yet it was as though he were sitting there watching her every move. She could feel guilt sitting in her stomach.

All those hours her brother lay in the hospital, all those final moments she could have had with him, taken away by her own weak nature. The world was crumbling around her, and she had slept. She wasn't sure if having the chance to say goodbye to her brother would have eased the pain she was feeling, but now it was certain that she'd never know.

The thought had crossed her mind that she was still sleeping. That the crippling pain was a mere figment of her own defiant subconscious. But then she would hear them knocking.

So loud and obtrusive, a sound like that would likely have woken her up, and yet here she knelt in her brother's windowsill.

Her reflection stood out in the window against the black sky. Her crimson hair was down and not styled, because she hadn't had the energy to do anything with it. She was covered in black funeral clothing and for a moment she was reminded of Jade, who loved dressing in dark colors. Her friends were at the funeral, all offering empty words of encouragement, or at least it seemed that way. They just said whatever they could scrounge up, because they really didn't know what to say. Cat couldn't place any blame.

Robbie had been different. He didn't say a word, he had just held her, almost like he knew what she needed. He'd sat next to her through the whole service, though he couldn't come back to her house for the family night. His mother was being tyrannical and wanted him home immediately. If he had been there, maybe Cat would have felt braver, maybe she wouldn't have locked herself in her brother's room to avoid the looks. The sympathetic looks people cast towards her all through the funeral.

She knew that if she were in their position, she'd probably do the same thing, for lack of a better response. But she didn't like the looks. It just cemented the fact that her brother was gone.

The knocks were getting far and few between, for which Cat was grateful, as she continued to stare at the window. She wasn't even looking beyond the glass at the lovely sight of Hollywood. She just stared at her own reflection. Her eyes were dark and puffy, and her face was pale. She looked sick, and she felt it too.

She shifted her weight off of her knees and folded into a sitting position, hugging her legs to her body and leaning her head against the cold glass. Sleeping hadn't been kind to her recently, but she couldn't fight the fatigue off any longer.

-o-

Robbie couldn't stop thinking of Cat. He had pictures of her on his wall, with her wearing that infectious smile she had always been known for, but it seemed so distant after the Cat he had seen that day. Robbie didn't even remember her speaking a word during the funeral, and she certainly didn't smile.

Her skin was shockingly white in comparison to the glow she used to possess. Her brown eyes had lost the light they'd once held, and now only housed indelible sadness, and possibly confusion, as though she wasn't sure if she was even in reality anymore. Robbie remembered fondly the look on Cat's face every time she spotted the painting outside his room. He'd have given anything to see that look again.

He had considered many times just waltzing downstairs and out the front door and going to Cat's house with the painting. He'd leave it at her doorstep if necessary. He just wanted her to see it, and to maybe feel one small ounce of hope, even if it was the smallest glimmer of hope that had ever been.

Just to see that light in her eyes again, it would have been better than anything he could imagine at that moment. If only his mother wasn't downstairs patrolling the area.

He felt useless up in his room, and Rex sat against his pillows just watching his every movement. Robbie grew frustrated and threw a shoe at him, causing him to fall over. Rex didn't make a sound. He hadn't made a sound since the day Cat collapsed outside Robbie's bedroom door.

Robbie sighed and swiveled his desk chair around toward his window and took in the sight of the breathtaking city lights. It seemed strange that something so beautiful could exist when Robbie felt so miserable. He couldn't even imagine how Cat was feeling. He had seen her at her happiest, but he couldn't recall a time when she was at the other end of her emotional spectrum.

He was sure he'd experience it sooner rather than later, but he would do what he had to do to help her heal, if that were possible.


	4. Losing Color

**What if This Storm Ends?**

**Chapter 4: Losing Color**

**A/N:** Probably my best kept secret for writing something so depressing would be the music I listen to in order to get myself in the mood for it. I doubt anyone cares, but I was at a loss for what to put here. Thanks for reading my useless thoughts. Although if anyone needs some sad inspiration, I put my playlist on my profile page.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

~!#$%^&*()_+

"You think I don't know it hurts, Cat? You're not the only one who lost someone. But you've missed two weeks of school, and you aren't missing anymore!"

This had been Cat's week. Her mother and father's idea of the grieving process was to react to everything with anger. Cat didn't want to go to school. For the first time in her life, she didn't want to be around people. They wouldn't know how to act around her, and worse, she didn't know how to act either.

Of course, Cat's behavior wasn't exactly healthy either. She would lock herself in her brother's room for hours at a time, which her parents had grown used to. They had stopped knocking altogether.

They would barely speak to her, unless they needed someone to yell at. Cat was fine with being their emotional outlet. She wouldn't bother responding to any of it. She didn't feel that she had anything useful to say half the time.

The house seemed much colder since the funeral, but that might have been because Cat barely ate enough to keep herself alive. She mostly just drank water, and sat in her brother's windowsill. This was her life now.

Cat sighed timidly, as her mother swept from the room without another word. She'd had the misfortune of being caught in the kitchen getting water while her mother was still there.

She contemplated just going back to Simon's room and locking the door. She knew her mother though, and she would check in with the school to make sure Cat attended.

She sighed again, knowing she couldn't avoid this. Knowing she'd have to withstand her friends and their sympathy.

She didn't want to be bitter, but it wasn't something she could control. She just wanted to be alone.

She had even taken to avoiding Robbie, the one person she actually wanted to see. He had made every effort to be there for her, but she wasn't about to drag him down to her level.

She let out a shaky breath and used her fist to pull herself away from the kitchen table, deciding she might as well go get dressed for school.

She simply pulled out a sweater and a pair of jeans. Wearing cute clothes, putting on make-up, it all seemed so useless to her. She couldn't believe she ever cared about such things.

Today, her main concern was getting through school and coming home as soon as she could, all while avoiding her parents.

After getting dressed and brushing her teeth, Cat made the dreary walk to the bus stop, ignoring the strange looks from the driver and the students.

She was sure they had all heard by now, so she simply moved quickly to the back of the bus and hid there.

One girl directly ahead of her peeked over the seat with curious blue eyes.

"I heard about your brother. I'm really sorry," she told Cat genuinely, and Cat mulled over what to say for a few awkward seconds.

She settled on a low "thanks" and turned her head to stare out the window, hoping this would deter anyone else from offering their condolences.

Cat couldn't help but notice that the bus was quieter than usual. She risked a quick glance at the rest of the occupants, and realized they were all staring at her, and any conversing that was going on was carried out in whispers.

Cat looked down quickly, playing with the hem of her sweater self-consciously. She chewed her lip and prayed to get to school quickly. She knew there were more people there, but it would be a lot easier to hide from them in a large high school than on a tiny school bus.

When the bus finally screeched to a halt outside of Hollywood Arts, Cat was the first to the front, as the other students had to gather their things first. Cat kept her head down as she maintained a swift gait towards the school's front entrance.

She prayed that none of her friends would spot her, though with her outlandish red hair, she felt that if they were outside, they would have seen her by now.

She didn't bother stopping by her locker to store her books, for Robbie's locker was right across the hall from hers.

The dread was filling her stomach again, as she inched closer to the door to her homeroom.

She didn't want to think about the looks she would get when she walked in. She hadn't noticed before, but her breathing was getting dangerously quick. She felt like her throat would close if she stood there any longer, so she contemplated just going ahead in, just like one would rip off a bandage.

'_Just get it over with_,' she thought to herself, since she was unable to speak. She brought herself a few steps closer.

She could see her homeroom teacher through the small, rectangular window in the door. He was perfecting the alignment of some papers on his desk, waiting for the students to stop talking.

He was so mild-mannered, and he never yelled at the students. Cat really liked him, but today, she was in no mood for people.

Just when she thought she had mustered enough courage to walk in, Tori and Robbie appeared in front of the door, in deep conversation. They didn't seem to notice her, which she was thankful for. They went inside the classroom, and Cat's breath had hitched in her throat.

Closing her eyes, trying to fight off the impending silent tears she knew were coming. She gave up on the classroom and darted towards the bathroom, as she clearly couldn't enter class while in hysterics.

She found the bathroom to be empty, as everyone had already scampered off to their classes.

Cat placed her hands on the sink and hung her head over it, eyes closed, embracing the silence that surrounded her. The voices made her head pound. Alone, the dread was easing off. She lifted her head towards the mirror, and frowned at her reflection.

Her tired eyes seemed to be black as coal, instead of their usual brown. There were dark circles around them, complementing her pale skin in some strange way.

Even her red hair seemed as dull as she had ever seen it. Or maybe that was because everything seemed to be losing color.

Cat pursed her lips and glanced down at the sink again, gliding her finger around the circumference of the chrome drain.

She yelped in surprise as the bathroom door opened, and saw the principal's assistant peek her head in. She raised an eyebrow, obviously not expecting to see a student in there. One of her duties was to look around the school for students cutting class. Cat sighed inwardly, considering that's what she was doing.

"Let's go," the woman said threateningly, and Cat closed her eyes and rolled them in secret, before following her out the door.

"Class has started, you know," the woman, Ms. Jenkins, said nastily.

"I had no idea," Cat retorted, the biting sarcasm in her voice surprising even her. It wasn't like her.

"An attitude like that is likely to earn you a detention, Missy," Ms. Jenkins said, whipping around to face Cat.

"Anything to escape the sound of nails on a chalkboard that I hear when you talk," Cat told her, anger replacing the dread she had once felt. Ms. Jenkins was taken aback by Cat's defiance.

"Fine, I'm taking you to Mr. Claude's classroom. It's empty right now. Let's see how outspoken you are in solitary confinement," Ms. Jenkins declared, pleased with herself.

Cat smirked mischievously, as Ms. Jenkins grabbed her arm. She would finally be able to sit alone, in complete silence.

As they reached the deserted classroom, Cat chose a desk in the back, and kept her solemn eyes on Ms. Jenkins, who moved towards the door.

"You will remain here for thirty minutes. I'm locking the door, so don't even bother trying to get out," she spat, sneering at Cat, who was pretty sure that wasn't standard practice.

Cat glanced at the windows, certain she could get out that way, just to spite Ms. Jenkins. But she was perfectly content being alone in the classroom. Solitude was what she had been craving ever since she'd walked onto the school bus.

She elected to stare at the sunny day outside, though it seemed darker than usual. But what wasn't losing color these days?

-o-

"Where's Rex?" Tori leaned towards Robbie's chair to ask him.

"I, uh, I left him at home," Robbie answered her awkwardly, staring at his shoes.

They'd just arrived in Sikowitz's classroom, and were waiting on their teacher to show up.

He finally burst through the door a few seconds later, seeming rather frazzled.

"Class will have to be delayed a few moments, I've got a rescue mission to carry out," he told them, sipping on his favorite beverage, coconut milk.

"A rescue mission?" Beck Oliver repeated curiously.

"Yep. It seems someone put our favorite red velvet cupcake in detention," he chuckled, as though it were the most absurd thing that had ever happened.

Robbie's eyes snapped up toward his teacher at hearing the well-known name Cat had given her hair color.

"Cat?" He said eagerly.

"Yep. I've gotta go break her out," Sikowitz replied, taking one lingering sip of his coconut milk, before heading for the door.

"Pretty sure you're not supposed to do that," Jade West yelled after him, but he was already gone.

Robbie's heartbeat quickened, knowing Cat had finally come back to school. He felt excited, and a little nervous. He found himself wondering what she would be like, as it felt like it had been months since he had seen her.

Maybe Rex would finally talk again...

"Wait, did he say she was in detention? That doesn't sound like Cat," Tori thought out loud, interrupting Robbie's thought process.

She was right. Robbie hadn't considered anything more than the fact that Cat was back. Cat was always so nice to the teachers and to the students. She never really broke any of the rules.

Winding up in detention was so unlike her. Robbie wondered what else had changed.

-o-

Cat had only been in detention for twenty minutes, and she was almost dreading it being over. She didn't want to go back out into the swarm of voices that surrounded the school.

She was startled by a noise by the door. She knew Ms. Jenkins wouldn't be coming to let her out already. If anything, she'd have left Cat in there longer if she could get away with it.

Cat's brow furrowed as the tangled, brown mop of Sikowitz appeared in the window. His face was pressed against the glass with a goofy smile. Cat wondered what he was doing.

She found out before he could tell her, as she heard the lock click, and the door opened. Sikowitz breathed heavily as though he had just lifted a two-hundred pound free weight.

"That was exhilarating!" He told her excitedly.

"What are you doing here?" Cat inquired, not really matching his fervor.

"I'm here to bring you back to class," his voice boomed, and he posed as though he were a superhero.

"Sikowitz, the detention is only for thirty minutes," Cat informed him, figuring there was no point in leaving now. Besides, she had no desire to go to class.

"You would deny me my very first jailbreak?" He pleaded with her, being melodramatic as everyone was used to when it came to Sikowitz.

"But-" she started, but she knew the battle was lost when he pouted at her.

She knew she had to go back. She had to get over this dread she was feeling. She couldn't avoid school forever, no matter how much she wanted to.

"Fine," Cat agreed, with no emotion whatsoever. Sikowitz skipped out the door like a giddy little girl, with Cat in tow.

Her friends would all see her, and there was no way out, now.


	5. Dead Flowers

**What if This Storm Ends**

**Chapter 5: Dead Flowers**

**A/N:** So I'm glad people like this :] I feel special. I wanted to take a minute to respond to an amazing review I got from someone named Sara. I was so flattered by the things you said, and the things you outlined about my story that you liked are all the things I look for in other stories. It's comforting to know that I'm not just writing a throwaway story to pass the time, and that people realize how important it is to me to write something that really affects people. So a huge thanks to you Sara, and I hope you enjoy the rest of this! :]

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

~!#$%^&*()_+

The school hallways were empty, and Cat reveled in her last little bit of silence, as she followed Sikowitz to his classroom. She could feel her fingernails digging into her legs through her jeans, as she tried to steady her frantic heart.

She didn't want to alert Sikowitz to any problems, because she didn't want to have to see the guidance counselor. She kept telling herself that she could get through this on her own, but her belief in those words faded with every step she took towards that classroom.

The only sound in the hall was the sound of her own sneakers squeaking on the textile floor, and it soon became deafening.

The silence seemed to be rubbing Sikowitz the wrong way, so he turned his head to make conversation.

"You look different," he said, as though he had just noticed. Cat didn't say a word, for she really couldn't think of a response to that. Besides, she didn't want to talk about her brother.

Instead, she continued her walk in peace, and it seemed Sikowitz caught the hint as he didn't try to push the conversation further.

Cat kept her eyes on the poster-adorned walls they passed. It seemed safer that way, but she knew that eventually, her eyes would land on the same Improv poster she was used to seeing directly outside of Sikowitz's classroom.

A few seconds later, that very thing happened. She was at the end of the road. Cat frowned as Sikowitz danced toward his door like nothing was wrong, and she was beginning to wonder if he even knew what had happened.

He opened the door and held his hand out towards it, motioning for her to go ahead of him. She froze on the spot, feeling the same dreadful feeling as before.

He furrowed his brow at her, moving his hand a little, almost as though he were trying to make sure she had actually seen it.

Cat tried to will away her watery eyes, and swallowed hard before taking a few steps toward the door. She glanced at Sikowitz with pleading eyes, but he didn't understand her unspoken pleas.

She was in the doorway now, and Sikowitz gave her a small push so he could go in himself and close the door.

Cat tried to stare at the small stage at the head of the room, but her eyes couldn't help but wander to certain faces. The very face who she had once longed to see, Robbie's, was the one face she wanted to avoid more than any other.

She could picture his brown eyes staring at her, deceitfully pretending she didn't look any different. Pretending that there was a chance for her life to return to normal. Pretending that he wasn't disappointed by the fact that she wasn't the same Cat Valentine he'd grown up with.

She didn't want to see the disappointment. Still, his was the first face she looked to, and she was at a loss for the reason. Perhaps out of habit, or perhaps as a result of the feelings she didn't want to admit. The chance that he could be the anchor she needed when she felt like flying off the handle. Maybe she wanted to be around him. She often thought about it, even when the thing she wanted most seemed to be solitude. But she wasn't the same person, and he was, at least to her knowledge.

Walking through the classroom, pulling at her sweater nervously, she locked eyes with him. There was a reluctant sadness there, magnified by his bifocals. She couldn't look away. She knew she looked gravely ill, and she knew he saw it. She knew everyone saw it.

Robbie didn't look surprised, or even disappointed. He looked hurt, helpless, even. Rex wasn't with him, which was incredibly out of the ordinary.

Cat's lips parted slightly in surprise, ignoring the look of shock on everyone else's face, and focusing on Robbie's. There wasn't even sympathy present in his eyes. It was almost as if he were too wounded to feel anything beyond pain. Cat knew the feeling well.

It felt almost like he was hurting with her. Maintaining eye contact with him, she wondered for a moment if the pain in her own eyes had invaded his. It was only then that she forced her eyes in another direction.

Cat was miffed to find that the only empty seat was in the front row, and the last thing she wanted was to be on display. Robbie had taken over her thoughts for now, so at least she had something to distract her from the sympathetic looks she was getting from her friends.

Sikowitz went on with his lesson, though Cat was barely listening. She couldn't bring herself to care about anything he was saying, which provoked some guilt within her. This had been her favorite class, and Sikowitz had been her favorite teacher.

In her desire to leave, she had almost forgotten about seeing Robbie's face, until she absentmindedly looked in his direction. While everyone else's curious eyes were on Cat, Robbie stared at the floor looking absolutely destroyed.

The defining qualities of Cat's feelings of dread had been altered, all because she had made eye contact with Robbie. It was much worse than the sympathy she feared from the other students. To know that there was someone as miserable as her was of no consolation, especially being that it was Robbie. She wondered if there was something going on with his parents that was affecting him this way, or if he had lost a family member.

She was concentrating so deeply, she almost missed Sikowitz's dismissal. Her habit of wanting to be alone carried her to the door before anyone else could get there, and she kept going, even though she heard Tori calling her name.

Cat decided to go to her locker and place the things she didn't need currently inside. She was feeble enough without a ton of useless junk to lug around.

She spotted the eyesore of a locker easily, and made a mental note to change it as soon as she had the energy. It was a pink mess, covered in hand-painted unicorns and clouds. Was that was happiness looked like?

But she also noticed an anomaly in the design, something sticking out of the ventilation holes that she hadn't put there. She squinted as she inched closer to it, seeing that two carnations had been placed delicately there, the narrow stems intertwined through each ventilation hole.

The petals were as brown and brittle as ancient parchment, as though they had been there for quite some time. Cat brought a fingertip to one of them, causing the corner of a petal to crumble and sprinkle to the floor.

They were decrepit.

"Dead," she thought out loud. She hated that word, given that she felt it all around her. It was as though the Earth was dying under her feet.

She was so drawn to the dead flowers that she almost didn't notice Tori appear beside her.

"Hey," the brunette greeted her, in the happiest voice she had heard in weeks. It sounded strange.

"Who put these here?" Cat inquired, her voice barely above audible.

"Um, I'm not sure," Tori replied, caught off guard by the question and the lack of a greeting. Beck, Jade and Andre emerged from behind her, all looking equally uncomfortable.

"H-hey, Cat," Andre said, throwing a misplaced hand up.

"Hi," the redhead responded unenthusiastically, without looking up. She finally opened her locker and began placing books inside.

"I'm...uh...I'm sorry about what happened," Beck muttered, seeming to not want to be there anymore. Jade seemed to be the only one who understood that Cat didn't want conversation.

"I don't want to talk about it," Cat sighed, feeling her energy draining by the second.

"We'll talk to you later, Cat," Jade spoke up, before leading an all too willing Beck away. Andre followed suit, but Tori stayed behind.

"You should talk to someone," Tori suggested, and Cat closed her eyes, her face hidden by the edge of her locker. She wasn't even close to being in the mood for someone else to tell her what she needed.

"Talking doesn't help," she told Tori, who wasn't anywhere near giving up.

"Maybe you just aren't talking to the right people. I could make you an appointment with Lane-"

"No," Cat said simply, slamming her locker door closed.

"You shouldn't shut down like this. It isn't healthy," Tori replied, unfazed by Cat's unwillingness to open up.

"Look. Talking isn't going to help me. Talking doesn't bring people back from the dead," Cat informed Tori without conviction. Tori frowned at her friend.

"Neither does crawling in a hole and giving up on life," she retorted, and Cat was blown away by the fact that Tori was actually going to stand there and argue with her.

"You look sick," Tori added, looking Cat in the eye, her expression one of worry.

"Talking takes energy that I don't have, and I look sick because I lost my brother. Maybe your answer to that would be to walk around pretending everything is okay, but I'm not you, Tori," Cat explained, her voice as close to yelling as it had been in a long time.

She shrank back into docility immediately, though Tori still looked like a child that had been scolded.

"I was just trying to help," she stammered, her eyes welling up with tears, before she finally gave Cat the loneliness she craved and walked off.

Cat felt slightly guilty about what she had said, but not enough to go after Tori.

No one seemed to care about what she actually wanted. All they seemed to care about was doing what they thought was right in order to ease their own consciences. Cat wasn't in the mood for any of it.

She turned her back to her locker and leaned against it, closing her eyes and trying to block out the sounds that seemed to follow her everywhere.

Opening them, she was alarmed to see Robbie standing before her, the same sullen look in his eyes. Remembering the feeling of wondering if her own depression was spreading to him like a virus, she broke her gaze and glanced at the floor.

Robbie wouldn't speak, so she had no idea what he was thinking.

Without warning, his hands were around her waist, one of them on the small of her back and the other between her shoulder blades. He buried his face in her shoulder, and she forced her arms up so she could envelope his neck. It had happened so fast, she almost didn't know how to react. As they leaned into her locker, she felt his body start to tremble, and she heard small strangled sobs from the boy who was nestled against her shoulder.

The sounds alone led the feelings of dread back out of her stomach and into her veins, as strong as she had known them in quite some time. She felt her throat constrict, and she let a tearful moan of her own escape her mouth. The sounds of their weeping began to mingle, all of Robbie's weight pressing Cat into the lockers.

The carnations remained in their chosen place, dying together.


End file.
